Crude language and lewd sight gags galore, but you might be glad you’re not too grown-up yet (if you are, start sandbagging your eyes and ears). A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is for those people who have never quite grown up yet. Features buddy movie must-haves such as reefer smoke blowing up the size of chimneys, Christmas trees on fire, boobs, butts and garter belts, offensive depictions of Jesus Christ, a toddler receiving second hand doses of marijuana and cocaine, deflowering of a gangster’s daughter, a gun aimed at the head of Santa Claus, a Walbot akin to R2D2, and a claymation penis. In a way, the filmmakers pace out these gross gags with a relative sense of moderation. Perhaps you laugh at what horrifies you. John Cho, the Korean guy Harold, and Kal Penn, the Indian guy Kumar, in a nod to the original, even make a stop at White Castle in the middle of this.
It’s revealed that these two are not very good friends anymore. You see, Harold is married to a hot Latina woman who greets him at the door in naughty lingerie. Moments behind, the venomous father-in-law (Danny Trejo, consummate in his badass hilarity) arrives by bus with the whole family, all crashing for the holidays. Harold is a clean-cut Wall Street kind of guy with no room for accident-prone and trouble-addled guys like Kumar. He thinks that he is going to impress his in-laws this Christmas.
But Kumar makes an unplanned stop at Harold’s house and within minutes sets the family heirloom tree on fire. The rest of the movie bases its adventures around replacing that tree before the father-in-law notices. Harold and Kumar, and their two other lackey friends (Thomas Lennon and Amir Blumenfield, both ingloriously geeky) crash a Christmas party whose theme surrounds deflowering the rich girl with an undisclosed secret that precedes apprehension. Without saying the word “hypnotic,” the movie really gets, uh, high from there, including a stop with the ubiquitously depraved Neil Patrick Harris. He is introduced with a cheery musical number that includes sumptuously hot women enmeshed with Harold and Kumar in the choreography line.
It’s a simple crude adventure, topped with an X-rated trip to the heavenly afterlife, and this third entry in the series promises a fourth. When it comes to sequels there are objective criticisms in this world. For example, I can deconstruct and analyze in inscrutable detail as to why “The Godfather” is better than “The Godfather Part II,” but that discussion is left better elsewhere. But here, I say with my own subjective opinion that “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” is the best in the series. I can’t deconstruct it for you, but I laughed the loudest and was besides myself, so that’s what I feel.
90 Minutes. Rated R.
RAUNCHY COMEDY / MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT / WEEKEND DEBAUCHERY
Film Cousins: “Quick Change” (1990); “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder” (2002); “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” (2004); “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay” (2008).
