One of the worst things you could ever see. Trespass should forever leave Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman ashamed, and the same for director Joel Schumacher. It aspires to be a real home invasion thriller that sets the bar above what’s been done before, but it’s bupkis – the twists aren’t wallops, they are thuds to common sense. Worse, it manages to be one of the most unpleasant thrillers you could ever see. I don’t want to see the beautiful auburn-haired Kidman in a cocktail dress being slapped and whacked, hair-pulled and elbowed, and thrown to the ground. Perversely, I don’t want to see her get up either. Cage is resilient and blind without his glasses, so he’s on the floor for most of the time. He refuses to tell the burglars what the code to the safe is that holds close to a million dollars in diamonds. He does tell them that reselling diamonds are useless because you need a cutter in order to conceal the origin of the diamonds owners. Telling these hooligans anything is nearly useless because they are averse to reason.
When it comes to telling you who is there I would say maybe four or five home invaders, but I lost count. The camera swerves around incomprehensibly and cuts to one zone of the house to the other while thieves in masks plunder for any other riches to steal. I could have sensibly tried to figure out how many there were, however, there was never a time where I really cared anyway. Cam Gigandet (“Burlesque”) plays the one home invader with maybe more than one shade of character. You see, he has a thing for Kidman and so does not want to hurt her. Liana Liberato (“Trust”) plays the rebellious teen daughter who comes home to find her parents hostage.
What consists of “Trespass” are endless scenes of the thieves shouting threats at Cage and Kidman while they cower back and plead for mercy. Yet, low and behold, this is another one of those thrillers where the victims get away only to get trapped again. They only fire back with weapons at the end, as if that was the desperation point where their lives were at stake. Ho ho, if only an hour earlier, right?
Cage has taken some chances in his career before like “Knowing” (2009) and “Matchstick Men” (2003) where it paid off, and Kidman as well in “Rabbit Hole” (2010) and “Birth” (2004). Now they are pandering to the exploitation audience, which admit is all of us, but they have not found a script that entertains us or cajoles us with any stunning surprises. Our jaws drop. We’re flabbergasted how idiotic… how awful it is.
In addition to being dumped into theaters today, “Trespass” will also be available at home to rent by OnDemand. This is the worst movie of Schumacher’s career and that’s saying a lot considering he already flunked disastrously in the past with “The Number 23” (2007) and “Batman and Robin” (1997).
90 Minutes. Rated R.
VIOLENT THRILLERS / SUSPENSE / UNWATCHABLE ANYTIME OF YEAR
Film Cousins: “Extremities” (1986); “Panic Room” (2002); “Firewall” (2006); “Funny Games” (2007).