I love Seth MacFarlane (conditionally), and I admire the chances he takes (often), but here is an example of when he goes too far. Ted 2 hits us up immediately with the foul-mouthed teddy bear’s bawdy wedding to bimbo supermarket cashier Tami-Lynn, followed by a superb credits sequence that’s a homage to 1930’s Busby Berkeley musicals with tuxedo men and lingerie clad women on a mammoth size cake. I had perked up and was ready to have more of a good time. But as the movie unfolded, and I mean unfolded with so much predictable plot, the charm was lost this time.
To save their marriage, Ted and Tami-Lynn want to try to have a kid. She turns out barren, and it proves difficult to come across a sperm donor. Right here, I should stop to tell you about all the handjob and sperm jokes. And tell you that there should be an economy of jokes in comedy, that once, maybe twice, is enough but several consecutive scenes of the same two jokes is wearisome. But let’s press on.
The sperm insemination process raises some red flags, as one character puts it, and suddenly Ted is deemed by the U.S. government as a non-person with his rights stripped. Ted’s lifetime human buddy John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), this time a sad-sack divorcee and helpless porn addict, helps him get a lawyer (Amanda Seyfried) to retain his civil rights in court. The lawyer, Samantha L. Jackson (ha!), is a pot-smoker with no courtroom experience, but she makes for an available love interest and good looker. (We don’t see replacement lawyer Morgan Freeman until after an interminable road trip sequence, but he guarantees a couple of good scenes.)
Giovanni Ribisi is back as the sociopath Donny who once again conspires to abduct Ted (talk about recycled plot), declare him his property, and deliver his inner-workings to the evil toy company he’s working for.
The big production money is spent on a New York Comic-Con scene, which results in lots of slapstick fights, one that is too chaotic and too quickly edited for its own good.
I was already too annoyed by then. Most of the jokes are porn-sex related and pot related. The first “Ted” had a good balance to it and had pace. It had a heart. I can watch it anytime it comes on cable. On the other hand, I don’t care to ever give the sequel another look.
108 Minutes. Rated R.
COMEDY / CRUDE HUMOR / WEEKEND VIEWING DEBAUCHERY
Film Cousins: “Flash Gordon” (1980); “The Change-Up” (2011); “Ted” (2012); “A Million Ways to Die in the West” (2014).
