Cruddy. Here Comes the Boom, starring Kevin James as a high school biology teacher who takes on mixed martial arts to compete in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) to raise funds, is my least favorite of the roly-poly comedian’s leading man efforts. Salma Hayek, without a bra most of the time, elevates the I.Q. level a tad. The rest of the actors go bonehead, and of the child actors representing students, only one of them gets noticed on-screen – the inquisitive Asian girl. “HCTB” doesn’t educate or inspire, nor does it simulate that thing called realism.
If one actor makes a fool out of himself it’s Henry Winkler as the music teacher who will lose his job after loss of extracurricular funding. He clucks around searching for answers to his own problems. He chalks up abridged Friedrich Nietzche quotes and calls that teaching.
Winkler’s problems surmount when he learns his wife is pregnant again which means he needs to hold onto his job. Relocation for him and his wife is a bitch, but it isn’t even brought up. See, James as Teacher Scott Voss comes up with “losing” in the ring to raise the $48,000 needed to save his friends program. He’s really just doing it so he can get a date with Hayek’s health services doctor.
Jesus Christ, because you’ve read this far, and you keep asking – The first few fights are poorly photographed, don’t take in account Ultimate Fighting strategy, and has James running circles around the Octagon ring. The fights get better, and at least the last half hour has a mumble’s worth of excitement, thus, an improvement on the first sluggish hour.
For the rest of you, this seems to be a flick for the young teenage boys in that rough and tumble aggression phase. Your young teen boys will find a few scenes that kick butt – they’ll mock fighting-faces and cheer. Then those same boys of yours will catch this on cable a few years from now and say… “How cruddy. That wasn’t that good after all.” They might even mention how cruddy the monochrome cinematography is, which for me seems to be a throwback to bargain basement flicks from 1992.
105 Minutes. Rated PG.
COMEDY / MALE AGGRESSION PANDEMONIUM / WEEKEND CAMP
Film Cousins: “Lambada” (1990); “Dangerous Minds” (1995); “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” (2009); “Warrior” (2011).
